Come and gone.

So the year anniversary of my dad’s death has come and gone. I cried for a few minutes but tried to remain positive. My dad would not have wanted me to be sad, to mourn. He was all about joking around, laughing, keeping it light, and having a good time. I thought that was the best way to honor him. So that’s what I did. 
I’ve been interviewing for new jobs. I have my heart set on one that I should find out about this week. It would definitely be my most challenging position, which I’m not afraid of. The hardest part would be transitioning back to an 8-5 schedule. I haven’t done that in years.
I’ve gone through so much the last several months. I guess I have come out okay. Ive had a major falling out with my sister, who I have always been so lose with. She has created a major financial problem in my life that I’m working through. I hate that something as petty as money has done this but it’s really not about the money. It is but even more than that it’s about not taking personal responsibilities for your actions. It’s about going on with YOUR own life when you have left someone’s life in shambles. It’s about not caring. Someone has not made me feel so insignificant in a very long time. When it is someone who has been in your life since birth, someone who has been a best friend for years and years, it really hurts. I know I’m supposed to forgive but I can’t. I especially can’t because I’m living with what this person did every single day. It affects me every single day.  It has created such a burden in my life that it may take me a very long time to dig out of.  It has created repercussion upon repercussion. I just want to over. I didn’t deserve that. Even if things are made “right” they won’t ever be the same. 

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